I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to realize that when writting these points out, when writting out blogs, that I cannot do and continue these blogs within accepting and allowing my mind to dictate any quality of the material.
Within this, I commit myself to re write my blogs from going into investigating every reaction that I have when writting a blog, and to write within being here, and being here, meaning not a single thought existing within myself when writting.
I see and realize that the point of wanting to gain fame, is a way of not fully expressing integrity within that relationship, such as the relationship of music. Thus within this, I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I have not fully shown integrity within playing music, as a point of having accepted and allowed myself to use the reference of a constructed relationship from the mind.
I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to see or realize, that gaining fame, or wanting to look good or feel good within blogging these points, or within whatever the relationship is, is only a way of not fully allowing myself to be functional within these relationships, in to where those relationships are most effective.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have thus accepted and allowed myself to use the girl figure/mother figure, as a void from actually learning how to fully function within the relationship, within the true self expression within the relationship. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have thus blamed my father/ the male, for not being capable of expressing myself fully within relationships.
I commit myself to fully seeing the relationship within these points, such as where I have built a construct of music within relationship to females, and using the male figure as to abuse him.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have used R. As the mother figure within when I would experience myself around my mother, within this relationship of music, to where I had accepted and allowed myself to use my mother as a void from fully functioning, from fully expressing myself within and as music.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to use my my mother as the source of not fully being functional, within expressing myself within music, as depending on her to show me how to express myself. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to only want to recieve this approval from my mother when expressing myself within music.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have thus created the relationship to females, where I verify this relationship with my mother, through abusing females by only getting in relationships with them, in order to protect my relationship I've constructed with my mother.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have based my relationship with expressing myself within music within the relationship with my mother, to where I had then constructed my further relationships with other females, by mimicking pictures of people kissing, to where I had added this into my relationship with wanting to use music to get the girls, to build a family off of my own inadequacy to not be able to fully function within my own expression within music.
Within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to therefor use girls and intend on having children to where I would abuse the child to placing this form of inadequacy towards the child, within what I had accepted and allowed myself to not take care of when I had bought the idea that I needed my mother figure in order to express myself.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to use music, and the inadequacy within that relationship, to blame others and try to bring others down to my own accepted and allowed point of inadequacy within having accepted and allowed myself to use this relationship with beating the male, with trying to defeat the male and be better than him, and not actually intend on on supporting him to be at his full potential.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus have accepted and allowed this construct, and have made the excuse to exist within and as this construct with females and males, not consider g how this effects others I go in contact with who play music.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not have considered the real relationship that exists within music, within what I've accepted and allowed to exist within relationship to music, and how physically abusive it is towards other beings.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have thus abused myself, and to have used addictions to feed this relationship with music, to where I had prepared myself to abuse myself and abuse others to suppress my own accepted and allowed inadequacy within the relationship with music.
Self commitments in last part.
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